Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Through the Chaos

Today was a day of rest despite being a school day. It was just the first day in a while that we didn't have anything extra on the schedule. I needed it. Besides the chaos of our campaigning life I have been dealing with contract renewal at school. I never feared recieving a contract, but I did put in a request for a small change. I needed it for my heart. Lots of things have happened this year which have hurt my heart. Public forum is not the place to air dirty laundry, especially when it involves others so I won't share specifics. Just know that I have endred a school year where I have been expected to fill the cups nt only of the neediest students on campus, but also every other person I come in contact with. Usually this is not a problem, but this year it is. I know that the problem lies in the fact that there is no one filling my cup - at all - never. When you add my family craziness in there, well there's nothing left.

Today two people contributed to my cup. Two staff members came up to me and told me how much they value me. I know I'm not full, but I'm not where I was yesterday at this time. Yesterday I was tired, frustrated, and on the verge of tears. Not only was I falling apart, but I could see it in the kids. I could se it in the condition of the house. I could se attiudes failing. Today I am able to cry for others instead of just for myself. Today I have peace.

Since I'm doing so much better I'm headed to watch some TV and work on Alyssa's birthday party stuff. I look forawrd to the blessings of tomorrow - no matter how little beause they are so big.

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